i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
by piperreynas
Summary: a companion to "this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart." au.


Percy thinks he's in love with Annabeth sometimes, but that's absurd, because they're best friends. Best friends don't kiss and hold hands.

He doesn't know exactly when it startd, but he thinks it might be somewhere around that bright Monday morning in July with a swing set and his mother's famous blue chocolate chip cookies.

She is sniffling when he finds her, but it doesn't look like she notices that she's about to cry. He sits next to her that day, but he doesn't know why. He doesn't like girls. Maybe it's her hair.

Mommy always told him to keep it simple, so he does. He sits down on the swing next to her and after a few seconds, he says, "Why are you crying?"

She frowns. "I wasn't," she says. She's trying to be angry but he can tell it isn't working.

He tries something else instead. "Okay," he says because Mommy said that girls liked it when you agreed with them. He pulls out the box of cookies he keeps on him. "Want some cookies? They're blue chocolate chip with extra chocolate. They can fix _everything_."

She turns around and looks at him with narrowed eyes, like he's an alien from that movie. . "I'm not s'possed to take food from strangers. My mommy told me it could be poisoned."

He doesn't know that word…"What's _poisoned_?"

"Poisoned is when someone puts something in your food and you eat it and then you vomit out all your organs and die," she says with a tiny satisfied smile. She stares at him for a second after she says is, as if to say _aren't you gonna go away now_?

He doesn't.

"That sounds _cool_ ," he says. Then he remembers what she said earlier. "We didn't _poisoned_ the cookies," he says, earnestly. She scoffs a little. So he says, "I'll prove it," and pulls a cookie out of the box, taking a big bite.

She stays silent waiting for him to start gagging. When nothing happens, he sighs in relief. She does too and that makes him happy, but he doesn't know why.

He decides it's probably a good time to tell her his name. "I'm Percy," he begins. He points to his mom and says, "That's my mommy. She wouldn't _poisoned_ anything ever."

His mom waves at them from where she sits on a bench, grinning. Percy gives her a wave in return, then turns back to Annabeth, holding the box out again. She studies him for a beat, then takes a cookie and says "I'm Annabeth," around a really big bite. He smiles. He likes her. Her eyes are pretty.

* * *

The summer before kindergarten, Annabeth gets really nervous around August. He thinks it's silly, because Mommy told him all about school and it sounds fun! Plus, he even taught her how to roll her eyes.

So that's what he tells her, when she calls him the day before the first day of school, and he and Mommy make extra cookies for her so that they can eat them together when she comes over after school. He eats a few when he talks to Annabeth. "It's gonna be super fun! We can make friends and learn what two plus two is!" he says, in his best _comforting friend_ voice.

She's still sad. He can hear it in her voice when she says, "Two plus two is four."

He frowns and then says in a brighter voice, "That's okay! We can learn what two plus _three_ is."

She scoffs at the phone, and then hangs up after telling him that she'll come over tomorrow. He smiles at the phone even though she can't see him. Then he looks at the cookies, wondering if they'll even be able to finish them all.

The next day, when the bus pulls up, he holds her hand even though he doesn't understand why she's scared. She gives him a little grin as she climbs up the stairs, and he responds with a happier one. She seems to relax after that, but he lets her fall asleep against her shoulder just for good measure.

When they finally get to school, he finally gets why she's so scared. The teachers make them stand in lines and he has to sit still all the time and there are too many _rules_. He hates school. Annabeth, on the other hand, is _ecstatic_. (She teaches him what _ecstatic_ means before the bus pulls up that morning so they can be smart together).

His mom asks him about his day before they get off the bus, and he stops, turning to her with a big pout and sad eyes that always _always_ work for him, and says, "Do we _have_ to go back tomorrow?" His mother laughs until they get back to their apartment.

* * *

The summer before third grade, Annabeth absolutely insists that they do everything together, just in case they get split up again next year. Both of them know that even if they do get put in different classes it won't change a thing so he doesn't understand why, but he does it anyway if it means he gets to spend even more time with her.

Percy introduces her to at least ten new ice cream flavors and teaches her lots of new magic tricks and when he isn't sleeping over he's chasing her with water guns in the park or trying to dunk her head under the surface of the community pool. He has a good time.

And for the record, he _let_ her win on the swings.

* * *

He gets into his first fight in the fourth grade at the History Museum. In his defense, Nancy Bobofit has been asking for it all year long, and Annabeth doesn't exactly approve, but she doesn't disapprove either, so he counts it as a win.

Nancy steals a kid's lunch, then proceeds to throw it back at him on the way to the museum. Annabeth does her part, trying to distract him with weird facts about blobfish and buildings, and it almost works- he falls asleep so many times he doesn't even bother keeping track, until another chunk of PB&J lands in poor Grover's hair.

Nancy gets right back to it when they get off the bus, calling out, "Hey freak, you hungry?" and doing this mean little snort-laugh, and he loses it. He sees that fountain and he takes his chance, pushing her in without a second though. She stands up a few seconds later, utterly soaked, but he knows she won't tell because telling on him would earn her another strike too for bullying another kid. He hisses, "Shut up," and then for some reason he turns to Annabeth.

She rolls her eyes, but she's grinning too, so he doesn't really know what to think.

Annabeth pushes Nancy Bobofit back into the fountain on her way inside. He's never been more proud.

* * *

When they're eleven, he finds out that her parents have been fighting, and he's so angry, because _how could she not_ tell _him_? Annabeth literally collapses after he confronts her, and he doesn't know whether to stay mad, but he hugs her anyway. The soles of her shoes are caked with mud. "Did you walk all the way out here?" he asks. Annabeth just cries harder, so he awkwardly pulls away and brings her inside.

His mom nearly drops the plate she's holding when she sees them, rushing over to Annabeth. "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry," she says, hugging her despite all the indications that Annabeth's not in the mood.

Annabeth laughs, a little tearily. "Sally, I haven't even told you what happened yet," she says.

Sally shakes her head. "It doesn't matter. What do you need?"

Annabeth considers it for minute, biting her lip adorably, then stepping back. "Do you have any cookies?"

He cuts in there, gasping especially loudly. "Annabeth! How could you ever think we didn't?" He pretends to think seriously for a moment then turns to her with a mock grave expression. "I might have to unfriend you now," he says, wrapping an around her shoulder and resting his cheek against her hair.

She laughs, and she sounds happy this time. "That's too bad. I'm here to stay," she says, peering up at him from where her face is, pressed against his shirt.

He grins down at her, holding her tighter. "I know."

She breaks away from him, looking back at him for a minute with those thundercloud eyes. "Now about those cookies," she says, raising an eyebrow.

* * *

Puberty hits both of them at the same time. The summer before high school, he shoots up like a weed and his voice starts getting deeper, and because of the swimming he's been doing recently, he has muscles now too. He doesn't like it.

Annabeth, looks even more beautiful, with her shiny princess curls and… _curves_. He catches himself staring all too often, and occasionally his gaze drops to her lips. If he didn't know it already, he does now- he has a crush on his _best friend_ whatever that means. He's so _screwed_.

They go back to school, and it's like someone flipped a switch. The same guys that called her a freak when they were little have the gall to come to their table and ask her out. He almost snaps his fork every time another walks up with a tulip they probably ripped from the planters outside the cafeteria.

Annabeth says no, of _course_ she does, but he still feels…he doesn't know what he feels, really, but that doesn't mean he likes it.

* * *

His mom meets a new guy, so Annabeth's new crush completely slips his mind. Percy's so focused on trying to figure out "Paul Blofis from that writing seminar" that he doesn't even notice the way Annabeth watches Luke Castellan, the _senior_ class president and he's so _jealous_ it shouldn't even be possible. He nearly vibrates out of his skin every time she so much as mentions him.

After they get together, he doesn't see her nearly as much anymore. When they _are_ together he comes up in every conversation they have. It feels like he's losing her.

When Luke shows to pick Annabeth up for a date in his fancy BMW, he watches Annabeth's face light up with this sick feeling in his gut. When Annabeth kisses the guy on the cheek he nearly lunges at the guy. But he kisses his best friend on the cheek before she leaves just to piss her new _boyfriend_ off and watches Luke's face twist uncomfortably, satisfied.

He hates himself for liking— loving —her because he can't be happy for her anymore.

* * *

When he hears out that Douche was _cheating_ on Annabeth the whole summer, he sees red. Annabeth tries to pacify him, and he acts calm and serene during lunch but the second the seventh period bell rings, Percy finds Luke and beats the tar out of him.

He acts like nothing happened, but Annabeth sees right through him as soon as she lays eyes on him. He figures there's no point trying to hide it, so he grins at her. "Just so you know, I had nothing to do with it," he says.

"With what?" she asks, tilting her head.

"You tell me," he says, raising an eyebrow back at her, trying to keep a straight face.

She laughs. "Did he bleed?" she asks.

He taps a finger against his chin exaggeratedly, as if he's thinking. "I definitely broke a bone or two."

" _Two_ bones?" she says playing along.

"Think I heard him cry for Mommy," he says, linking their pinkies like he used to when they were younger, and swinging their arms back and forth.

"Well. I know you definitely didn't do it. But thanks anyway."

He hums noncommittally, pressing a kiss into her hair and using their linked hands to tug her closer. "Anytime, Anna." For once, she doesn't tell him off for using a nickname.

* * *

He gets together with Rachel Dare the next year. She's a nice girl and he feels kind of guilty for convincing her that they're in a serious relationship, when he's still pining after Annabeth like a lost puppy.

She never does anything wrong, she's just…not Annabeth. So after a month and a half, he breaks up with her. In an _ice cream_ store, too, which is kind of pathetic. She's not that torn up about it. When he tells her, she smiles and says, "I'm sure Annabeth would be happy to have you, for what it's worth."

He smiles. "Thanks."

She grins. "No problem. I hope we can all be friends!"

He breathes a sigh of relief. "Yeah, that would be great."

* * *

Annabeth is his date to his mom's wedding. He doesn't know whether he should be nervous or excited, but he supposes it doesn't change anything really. She looks radiant in her dress and he suddenly feels inadequate next to her in his rented suit and borrowed cuff-links.

His mom tries to play matchmaker and forces them into slow dancing. He thanks her for that one later, but at the moment he's _done_ with everything.

Annabeth tugs him onto the dance floor when "I Will Always Love You" plays over the speakers. She has no idea what to do, but neither does he so they stare at each other giggling for half a minute, before he awkwardly wraps her in a hug and starts gently swaying. He can't take his eyes off her.

* * *

He finds out about the betting pool a week later, when he opens his mom's notepad to check the shopping list. He sighs when he figures out the total, and decides not to tell Annabeth about it.

He does, however, organize a sleepover preemptively for Christmas just to teach his mother a lesson about meddling.

* * *

His downfall is his mother's prize-winning hot chocolate. That stuff once knocked out Thalia for a couple hours, so when he says it makes him sleep, it's true.

When Annabeth calls his name in the middle of the night, he's too sleepy to even think about what he's saying anymore and the truth is revealed. "Percy?"

"Hmm."

"Why'd you break up with Rachel?"

He blinks, and then mumbles something sleepily, rolling over on the couch. His head falls to the floor with a _thunk_ , but he's too far gone to notice. Annabeth pokes him, and he decides to answer. "I don't know. I wanted her to be you, but she wasn't."

He hears her sit up in the dark and he moans exasperatedly. "You what?"

"'Night," he says, trying to nip this in the bus and pulling himself the rest of the way off the couch. He puts his head in her lap and smacks his lips.

She frowns, and pushes him back up. "Why would you want Rachel to be me?"

He jolts back into awareness. "…Never said that," he says carefully.

"Yes you did."

"I didn't mean it. I was really sleepy-" he starts.

"Percy-"

"We got bored, that's all-"

"Percy!" He stops talking and looks at her making sure to keep his expression neutral. "Stop lying to me."

He leans back against the couch, surrendering. "What do you want me to say?"

"I…Explain."

He takes a deep breath. "I think I'm in love with you," he says, without preamble. "I know you probably don't want it-"

"Percy, stop." He does, trying to anticipate her next words. They're out of sync, for once, and it hurts. "I think I'm in love with you too," she says, looking up through her lashes, and he doesn't know what to think.

"You mean it?" he asks, watching carefully and trying to move away in case this backfires.

"Of course," she says softly. He starts to smile, and then she leans forward and slants her lips over his. He doesn't think anymore, but then again, that was her job.

* * *

notes: this ended up a little shorter than its companion, but it's harder for me to write from percy's p.o.v. because i haven't really nailed down his characterization yet. this sounds a little absurd considering the first series in the pjo!verse focuses on percy's development, but well. writers are crazy, folks. please review! also: there may be another outtake from this verse coming up…

a question for y'all out there: what do you think I could improve about percy's characterization in this fic? this is optional, but answers are welcome…


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